You stand in front of a locked door, jiggling the handle, frustrated that it won’t budge. You tell yourself, I’m just too lazy. I don’t have what it takes. But what if that door isn’t locked because of some personal failing? What if the problem isn’t you, but the key you’re using? Too often, when motivation feels out of reach, we assume we’re broken or doomed to be unproductive forever. But the truth is, motivation isn’t about pushing harder against a locked door. It’s about finding the right key to unlock it.
Somewhere along the way, you learned to label yourself as "lazy." Maybe you struggle to start projects or put things off until the last minute. You see others moving forward effortlessly and wonder, What’s wrong with me? But here’s the thing: there is no such thing as laziness—only locked doors that haven’t been opened yet. Maybe you grew up in a household where mistakes weren’t tolerated. So now perfectionism keeps you from even starting. Exhaustion from poor sleep and burnout is no picnic. These drain you of energy, making everything feel impossible. Or maybe you’re simply overwhelmed by choices, not sure which direction to take, so you freeze instead. Each of these is a different kind of lock—and each one requires a different key.
Think about the last time you felt truly motivated. What was different? Were you working on something meaningful? Were you getting enough rest? Did you have someone supporting you? Chances are motivation wasn’t just there magically—something unlocked it. And that means you can unlock it again. The key to motivation is not forcing yourself to act. It's about changing the conditions that make action feel possible. Instead of trying the same approach over and over, ask yourself: What’s really holding me back?
- If fear is keeping you stuck, try the key of self-compassion. Instead of beating yourself up, talk to yourself like you would a close friend. Instead of thinking, I’ll fail, so why bother?, reframe it as, What’s one small step I can take?
- If exhaustion is draining your energy, try the key of self-care. Motivation isn’t just about willpower—it’s also about having the energy to show up. Adjust your sleep, movement, or nutrition in small ways and see how it impacts your engagement. Even something as simple as drinking more water or going outside for five minutes can make a difference.
- If uncertainty is overwhelming you, try the key of structure. When everything feels too big, make it smaller. Break tasks into ridiculously tiny steps. Instead of saying, I need to write this whole report, start with I’ll write one sentence. Instead of I need to get in shape, start with I’ll take a 5-minute walk. The smaller the action, the easier it is to move forward.
No one opens every door on the first try. Some keys will work better than others, and that’s okay. Trial and error is not failure—it’s part of learning what unlocks you. If one strategy doesn’t work, step back and try another. What helps today might not be what helped you last year, and that’s normal. Most importantly, be patient with yourself. The fact that you’re searching for answers means you haven’t given up. You are not lazy. You are not broken. You are just standing at a door, searching for the right key—and when you find it, you’ll be amazed at how easily it turns.
To Reach Out:
Email: [email protected]
Phone: 053-808-0435
International: +972538080435
- Bio -
Yonasan’s a graduate of Hebrew University’s School of Social Work and Social Welfare. He completed post graduate training in a wide array of therapeutic approaches from CBT at The Beck Institute, behavior and emotion focused therapies, to various Psychodynamic theories. Before Hebrew University, he studied at Washington University in St. Louis and Drake University majoring in philosophy and ethics.
Yonasan is a member of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science and a Dialectical Behavioral Therapist skills trainer. He has collaborated with Machon Dvir and has been a group leader for the National Educational Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder Family Connections program.
He specializes in treating anxiety, depression, anger, poor self-esteem, insomnia, autism, eating disorders, psychosis, problems in parenting, sexual dysfunction, and marital conflict. He has an extensive background working with individuals, couples, families, and children in his therapy practice.
